Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
