we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
