seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
