no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
