Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
