Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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