He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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