ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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