Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
