i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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