ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
