He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
