I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
