I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize