Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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