You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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