i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
