Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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