If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
