I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize