I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
