it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So. Much. Porn.
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