is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
