Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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