Whod you bang
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize