I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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