I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
two words: eviction party
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
