STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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