listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
