Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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