Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
