do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
