Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Non-Jews are for practice
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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