You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
