PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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