I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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