Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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