I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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