Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
