Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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