So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
