Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
