Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I didn't notice because vodka
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
