So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
false alarm, still single
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
