Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
