Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
