he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
