I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
