dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just had sex bonerless
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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