I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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