New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
