can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
