Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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