It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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