It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize