Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
id be glad to
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
