Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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