Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
