it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
