I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We left an ass print on the piano.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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