Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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