your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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