Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
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Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
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I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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