i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
