Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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