we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
