My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if only i could text you this smell
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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