I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
