This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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