he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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