Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
