dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
