It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize