with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
