i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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